Mary Lee Cobabe Cook was born October 18, 1951, the second of nine children, to Fredrick William (Bill) and Mary Cobabe, in Inglewood, California.
A note from Mary's Mother after hearing that Mary had been hospitalized earlier this month:
Dear Kathryn, I have been having a hard time thinking of your mother suffering so much. In all her life she never whined or fussed when she did not feel good. Mostly she was quite healthy after she recuperated from being in a hurry to get here. She was about 6 weeks early and one of her lungs started to collapse so she had to be in Children's hospital for a few days. Then she dashed off to kindergarten in a hurry and skipped a grade, from 4th to 5th. She even hurried off to BYU at 16 with a 4 year scholarship. Maybe she is trying to hurry on now to her graduation to Higher Learning. She has always been so organized and loved to plan everything to perfection.
Mary graduated from Mira Costa High School in Manhattan Beach. She was a National Merit Scholar Finalist and selected girl of the year in her graduating class. She received a four year scholarship to Brigham Young University. Mary studied Speech Pathology and graduated in 1972 with a Bachelor of Science degree. She earned a Masters of Communicative Habilitation in April of 1973.
Mary married Gene Cook in the Los Angeles Temple, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in September of 1973. They owned a home in Oceanside, then Rainbow. They designed and built the home in Fallbrook that they have lived in for the past 28 years. Kathryn Ann Cook arrived in 1977, Aaron William Cook in 1982, and Benjamin Lynn Cook in 1989.
Gene and Mary welcomed many others into their home as well. Christopher Charlie came to live with them for three school years as part of the LDS Church's Indian Placement Program. They provided foster care for babies and children, including Garth and Chrissy, toddler siblings who stayed for two years. Mary's sister, Sarah, lived with them for a year following her graduation from high school.
Mary worked in her chosen field as a speech therapist in schools in the Fallbrook area after finishing her degrees and moving to Oceanside. Following Kathryn's birth, she quit working to devote her time to her family. When Ben went to grade school she took a job as a classroom aide so that her hours would be like her children's. This job led to opportunities to work again as a speech therapist, most recently at the Mike Choate Early Childhood Education Center in Fallbrook. Mary loved the children and the people she worked with so much that she continued to work until September of 2012, long after her cancer treatment had become difficult. She wanted to stay serving and focusing on others as long as she could, rather than be at home focused on the disease.
Both Gene and Mary have always been an active force in serving others through their service in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Mary had the opportunity to serve in the Young Women, and for a time in the Relief Society, one of the largest women's organizations in the world. She was a Gospel Doctrine (Sunday School) teacher for several years. Her favorite callings were in Primary. Again, working and serving little children. She enjoyed leading the organization as well as teaching classes.
Mary loved to read. She enjoyed mysteries, especially Dick Francis novels. She spent many summers camping with her family when her children were little. Once the kids grew up, Mary loved to visit them wherever they lived: Utah, Texas, Yucatan, India. The last few years she and Gene rented a condo on the beach in Baja. After chemotherapy treatments, she loved to go to the condo and listen to the ocean.
She was diagnosed with breast cancer in August of 2010. After that, her life was full of ups and downs related to treatment and prognosis. She was amazingly strong and cheerful through it all. She chose to donate her body to UCSD Medical School to use in medical research.
We will miss her so much. As we told her in her last few days, we will be okay because she did her job so well. We are thankful for her faith, and ours, that we will see her again.
I had the good fortune of counting Mary as a best friend and several-year roommate in college. While Mary was absolutely beautiful and brilliant, during those years she also had just enough mischief in her to make her lots of fun. We laughed (and Mary had such a contagious laugh) and cried together; we shared secrets (including stories about Gene); and we engaged in lots of discussions -- both deep and frivolous.
ReplyDeleteIt cannot be denied that our post-college get together were too few. On those occasions when we did meet, however, our bond was instantly renewed and strong. Now that the distance between us has changed from East Coast/West Coast to this life and the next, I join the close circle of Mary's family and friends who miss Mary but nurture the hope that we will be in her embrace again. Love, Peggy Taylor
Beautifully written. I enjoyed reading it and learning more about this wonderful woman.
ReplyDeleteMary was the perfect daughter. Always sweet and loved by everyone who knew her!I am so thankful she does not have to suffer any more. But Oh How I will miss her!I know her Father welcomed her with open arms when she arrived in Heaven!We will be together again some day!
ReplyDeleteA private story that I remember about Mary...
ReplyDeleteWhen we were very little, we moved into our big yellow house in Manhattan Beach. Mary and Bill and I were close enough together in age that we used to play together. One day we were exploring the hidden passageways in our big house, and we discovered that there was a secret way to get into the attic of the garage. Underneath the dormer windows on the second floor of the house, there was a crawlspace that connected with the garage. The attic of the garage was unfinished - just the open beams of the rafters. But we decided it would be fun to crawl out onto those beams and explore.
It was a fine idea, until Mary slipped and fell in the space between two beams. We had no fear of the ten foot fall that would have resulted if she had slipped all the way through, but fortunately she was able to catch herself. On the way down, she banged one of her knees and it was cut very deep. But she made us promise not to tell mom, because Mary did not want us to get in trouble.
The cut was bad enough that it should have had stitches at the doctor, but Mary would not let anyone know that we had been sneaking where we shouldn't have. She wrapped her knee with toilet paper to soak up the freely flowing blood. Eventually it stopped, and she just put a couple of bandaids on it. Eventually it healed up. But she always had that big scar on her knee.
I always loved visiting with Gene and Mary when they would come to Arizona and stay with my Grandma Johnson. She is a special person and will be missed.
ReplyDeleteLove, Jen Bushman
What a great blessing to have Mary as a friend. I had the good fortune of being assigned as her visiting teacher when we first moved to Fallbrook nine years ago. Since that time we have shared visits enjoying talking and laughing together. It was on one of my visits with Mary as her visiting teacher that Gene fell out of an orange tree cutting his arm to the bone. I found out about the calmness of the Cook family when Ben calmly interrupted our visit by saying, "Mom, I think Dad needs you" Followed closely by Gene coming in with his arm wrapped in a towel so he wouldn't worry anyone and saying "I think I need to go to the hospital" I have never seen such calm people! Gene made sure to tell me not to forget to take my oranges home that he had picked for me.
ReplyDeleteAnother sweet memory I have of Mary was her telling me (after she had been battling cancer for over two years), "I have had a wonderful life. I am not going to let this ruin that" And so she continued to be so positive right up to her return home.
She will be greatly missed, but has left such a great legacy in her family that her influence will be felt for generations to come.
How I love Mary and her sweet family!
Some things that just remind me of Mary: Dove soap, Aim toothpaste, the black handled metal scissors the she must have had since she got married, and everything in her house that never changed from year to year. What a comfort it was to return to her home and find everything in the same place. I love that she kept her hand mixer in the box in which it was sold. I love that she didn't get a new washer and dryer until the repairman finally told her he wouldn't fix them again (years after anybody else would have). I love that she had "vintage" spices in her cabinet and never threw them away even when they were obviously nothing more than colored dust.
ReplyDeleteOne time when she was in Utah for Education Week at BYU, she wanted to shop for a new dress (probably the early 80's). She must have visited 10 stores and carefully weighed the pros and cons of each dress, and spent hours choosing the best value. She was always so meticulous about all of her choices.
She typed my application to BYU for me. She didn't make me feel stupid when I first fell in love with Monet and was pronouncing the T. She never complained about the fact that I lived with her for a year and don't remember doing much cleaning. She measured exactly one serving of cold cereal into her bowl that she would eat for breakfast. She devoured Dick Francis books, and loved mysteries. When we watched seasons of 24 together, she had the story line figured out while the rest of us still wondered what in the heck was going on.
We had so much fun planning wedding receptions for Kathryn and Aaron. She acted like every idea I had was the best, and was game for whatever I suggested, it was the best! She proudly grew baby's breath flowers in her garden and I have never stopped feeling bad about the fact that I hated baby's breath and would not use them in Kathryn's arrangements.
Mary and Gene picked me up in the middle of the night when I stupidly parked my Mom's car on the street by the border in Mexico so I could save the $10 it would have cost to park in a lot, and it was stolen.
I spent quite a few Christmases with Mary and will always remember the Starburst candies she used to decorate her tree and hang all along the patio doors. She always wanted us to help her family go caroling so we could increase the number of people singing on key. Every year their family would chose someone to give a secret box of gifts to, and we had the best time watching her kids ring the bell and run. I remember her telling me that her favorite Christmas song was Oh Holy Night.
We always used to tease Mary that her handwriting was as neat and consistent as a typewriter. I can just see the yellow sticky notes in her house with her neat handwriting.
The black handled scissors! I never realized they were that old, but it makes sense.
DeleteOne summer when I visited, a friend had inadvertently given me two copies of the same book. So Mary and I both read "Plain Truth" and had a little book group of our own on the beach in Rosarito. She finished before me, of course.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best things about Mary was that she always laughed at my jokes, and made me feel like I was the funniest and most creative person she ever met.
Many years ago, when we were making a quilt for my brother Tom's wedding, she made a quilt square representing her family and she was very upset about it. She hated that it did not turn out the way she had envisioned, and was very upset and crying. I thought it looked just fine, and had no idea why she would have been upset. As I grew older, I turned out to have the same ideas of perfection, and the same problem with seeing my creations as acceptable when they did not turn out the way I had planned. I remember straightening her crooked blanket when I went to care for her after her mastectomy, and we had a good laugh about our obsession with perfection.
Mary received a sewing machine as a gift when she was a teenager or first married, I'm not exactly sure when (maybe 1972?). She never liked sewing, so she gave me that Elna machine with the condition that I would have to make Kathryn's wedding dress as payment for the machine. I still use that machine today.
I love Mary, I still can't believe she is gone. I am so grateful for the time we were able to spend together and the bond we forged. Since there is a 17 year difference in our age, we could have so easily never really known one another. What a difference in made in my life that we did.
Gene and Mary,
ReplyDeleteOur Family was so saddened to hear of and learn about Mary's passing. I personally can say that both of you have had a tremendous impact on our lives.
Mary's infectious smile and enthusiasm first lit my life when Gene introduced her to me at BYU. After that time I really don't ever remember Gene and Mary being apart (except during spring training and "the season" for Gene's other love: baseball). I probably saw more of Gene and Mary during their courtship than any member of her family. Gene boarded in my family home and it was there over pizza, football, basketball, and Sunday dinner that I truly grew to know and appreciate the wonderful person that Mary was. I was fortunate then to work summers in Torrance CA. and attended church with Mary and her family. They always invited me into any activity that the family was having and it was with them that I learned to water ski.
The next memory I have of Mary and Gene is their generosity in coming to Wyoming so that Gene could be the best man at our wedding reception. This was no small task I am sure because I know that it is a five hour drive from Provo to Lander. As others have said, Mary was always there giving and telling you how much she enjoyed the experience.
As a family we were warmly welcomed into their home in Fallbrook with our four children when on vacation in Southern California. Our children still remember how wonderful the oranges were from the trees in their grove.
We spend a lot of time in the Church talking about having the Lord's image in our countenance. I can honestly say that to me Mary has the image of the Lord in her countenance.
Kevin and Barbara Sheetz