Mary Cook Life Sketch
Funeral is spelled Fun eral.
Dallin Oaks said that there are two purposes for a funeral; one, to celebrate the life of the person that has gone on and second to teach the plan of salvation. This is the celebration part, let's have some fun.
Mary Lee Cobabe Cook was born October 18 1951. Second of nine children to Bill and Mary Cobabe, in Inglewood California, named for her Mother.
I want to share from the caring bridge site a post from our Mom, after hearing that Mary had been hospitalized; Dear Kathryn I have been having a hard time thinking of your mother suffering so much. In all her life she never whined or fussed when she did not feel good. Mostly she was quite healthy after she recuperated from being in a hurry to get here. She was about 6 weeks early and one of her lungs started to collapse so she had to be in Children's hospital for a few days. Then she dashed off to Kindergarten in a hurry and skipped a grade from 4th to 5th. She even hurried of to BYU at 16 with a 4 year scholarship. Maybe she is trying to hurry on now to her Graduation to Higher Learning. She has always been so organized and loved to plan everything to perfection.
For my part I am frankly a little surprised that I had to actually write this presentation, Mary didn't have one all ready for us.
A few Memories from our childhood, growing up in Manhattan Beach. Cousins lots of cousins at family reunions in the park, Christmas eve parties with more cousins, cousin slumber parties, Daryl going down the laundry chute, road trips in the station wagon to go camping at various national parks, later water skiing. There was always extra people on day trips to museums, we didn't have seat belts so you could really pack a car with kids. Making and flying kites at the grade school a block away. The yellow house on Meadows avenue with the great back yard, fireworks in the back yard. That one Christmas everybody got bicycles, Pennekamp elementary, Begg junior high, and Mira Costa High School. The old Chapel in Redondo Beach with the child size pews in the primary room, the cry room upstairs and the Stain glass in the Chapel of Joseph Smith's first vision. Building the Manhattan Beach Chapel.
As mentioned Mary excelled in school, she received many awards, in high school, she ran for and served on Student government her Junior and senior years. I remember admiring her as she would work on various reports, there would be a pile of papers on the floor, discards as she worked to have the best to turn in. Kathryn shared with me this week that Mary confessed to cutting class once but it was to go to the library to study for another class. Mary graduated from Mira Costa High School in Manhattan Beach. She was a National Merit Scholar and selected girl of the year in her graduating class. She received a four year scholarship to Brigham Young University.

Mary asked Gene Cook out once in high school to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Gene had a previous commitment and declined, it took a while for her to forgive him for that. Gene says "she didn't talk to me for a year and a half". They did begin to date and spend time together at BYU after school started in the Fall of 1968. They dated off and on for the next 5 years, off was only because Gene traveled playing baseball. Mary often would drive to a game if it was close enough. One time she drove from Utah to Casa Grande Arizona not realizing how far it was, also she did not tell our folks but later confessed because she had used their credit card to buy gas, it was an emergency right? Grandpa Norris went with her to some of the games.
Mary graduated in 1972 with a bachelor in Science, in April of 1973 with a master of communication Habilitation, Speech Pathology.
Gene and Mary married in the Los Angeles Temple, for Time and all Eternity, September of 1973. They went right back to Utah, Mary had a full time teaching job as a resource specialist and Gene was getting his teaching credential.
Gene had earlier arranged for a brand new really nice apartment to rent, Mary never liked it because she had been left out of the decision making process, she taught Gene right up front to always include her!
In 1974, Gene went to Spring training in Florida while Mary stayed on to finish the school year in Salt Lake for a bit then joined Gene in Waterbury Connecticut to finish the Season. Then back to BYU to finish Gene's degree.
As they were deciding where to live next and contemplating Oregon verses California, Mary asked does it snow in Oregon? Oregon was out, based on the weather. While visiting Gene's folks in Fallbrook they decided to come to this area to make a home and find work.
They owned a home in Oceanside, then Rainbow, then Fallbrook where they designed and built the home they have lived in these past 28 years. Mary went to a class on Passive Solar housing at BYU Education week. She came home got some books and researched, made plans and took them to Henry Miller, the house is set at the perfect angle to the sun, the windows, brick walls and floor tiles all help to heat the house in the winter and cool it in the summer. They lived in a trailer on the lot for a year while they built the house.
Kathryn arrived in 1977, Aaron in 1982 and Ben in 1989, Every child's birth is a miracle from God, but all three of these have their own story. Each struggled to get here with great effort and sacrifice on Mary's part. They were all miracle babies!
Mary suffered a great deal of grief and loss building their family she miscarried 5 times, perhaps the most difficult, one she lost at six months. Mary’s journal has many entries concerning these trying experiences,
Gene and Mary welcomed many others into their home as well, Christopher Charlie with the lamanite placement program lived with them for three school years, they foster cared for babies and children including Garth and Chrissy that stayed for two years. Once when Garth and Chrissy lived with them there was a season of passing the flu around, Mary said somebody threw up every day for a month straight! Also that one year our Sister Sarah lived with them after she graduated from high school welded Sarah officially into their family.
When they first came to Oceanside Mary worked full time as speech therapist for the Fallbrook school district, driving that little Volkswagen to Bonsall, Pauma, Vallacitos and Fallbrook high. She had stopped working when Kathryn was born. In September of 1980 when Kathryn was three, the Rainbow school superintendent found out Mary now lived in Rainbow, he invited her to come back to her job. Mary first wanted to say no but wanted time to think about it and discuss it with Gene, they decided to try two days a week. This from Mary’s journal at that time; I’ve been working two days a week since September, I have enjoyed the feelings of contributing in my profession and of knowing I can work if necessary to support us. But I have missed being with Kathryn even those two days. Being at school those two days and seeing how “mean” the world is has helped me to make the decision that I won’t work next year. I need that last year with Kathryn before she goes out into the world. And wondering what I’m doing for Kathryn, am I preparing her enough? I’m concerned about both of us. Mary devoted her life to raising up her three plus children.
When Ben went to grade school she took a job as an aide just to be near him. This job led to opportunities to work again in her chosen field of speech therapy, most recently at the Mike Choate Early Childhood Education Center in Fallbrook.
Mary loves the children and the people she worked with so much. She continued to work through the Cancer, through the treatments, until September of 2012. She often said it's because of Barbara that I'm still here at work, also she wanted to stay working as long as she could rather than stay at home and focus on the disease.
Both Gene and Mary have always been an active force in serving others through their service in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Mary has taken the opportunity to serve in the Young Women, A time in the Relief Society, one of the oldest and largest women's organizations in the world, Also she was the Gospel Doctrine teacher for several years but her favorite she told me more than once is the Primary. Again working and serving the little ones she enjoyed leading the organization, teaching and even leading the music. Although when she was asked to be the music leader she burst into tears, she didn't want to do it, did not feel confident about it. Aaron told me during that time when she dropped him off at school he was so embarrassed as he was sure all would see her in the car conducting Primary songs, waving her arms about to the beat as she listened to tapes, teaching herself.
Their kids were recalling to me when Gene was first called to be the Bishop of their family ward, that very day Mary had made a lovely Sunday dinner and had set it out when a visitor came to the door and just wanted to talk with Gene, soooo long, that dinner was ruined. Kathryn leaned over to me and said that's the last time she cooked dinner, she meant, a planned time for a Sunday dinner. Bishop's wife twice, first Mother of the ward, Wife to a member of the Stake Presidency. Serving others is a way of life for Mary so it is quite normal that she donated her body to University of California San Diego School of Medicine.
Mary loved to read. She enjoyed mysteries, especially Dick Francis novels. She was a fast reader and could devour a great book in no time. Mary would come home with stacks of books from the library and many times stay up most the night reading them.
She spent many summers camping and traveling across our country with her family when the children were young. Once the kids grew up, Mary loved to visit them wherever they lived: Utah, Texas, the East Coast, Costa Rica, Mexico, Yucatan, India. The last few years she and Gene rented a condo on the beach in Baja Mexico. After chemotherapy treatments, she loved to go to the condo and listen to the ocean.
Mary excelled in being her best self, she had mad skills that she had developed, even super powers, to research and learn how to be that way. She attended Church conferences, BYU education seminars, Read and listened and took notes and made every effort to apply positive principles to her life. Mary once about a hundred years ago confided in me that occasionally it was annoying to have a husband that is so nearly perfect, (like when other women complained about their husbands she didn’t have any way to join the conversation) but truly Gene was just keeping up!
Mary belonged to a Birthday lunch club with a few special friends, they have been gathering for twenty-five years. Originally for birthdays but more often as time went by and good friends are needed to comfort and console each other, to mourn with and take joy at each other's joy. Mary has a sign on the wall next to her refrigerator that reads "Friends, cheaper than a shrink". Gene and Mary have a beautiful network of many, many glorious friends. As I have been here, I have witnessed the kind deeds and sweet love that you all feel for the Cooks.
Mary called me one day about two and a half years ago, she left an urgent message for me to call her back as soon as possible. I am pretty sure that I have never heard that urgent tone from her before. when I returned the call she explained that she had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, her concern was not for herself but for her sisters and her nieces. I asked her at that time if she thought she was in the early release program. Mary did not think she was. Years ago Mary shared a blessing she had been given with me, it gave her to feel she would live to an old age, that her days would be long on the earth.
Mary is in every thread of every fabric of their home and family, every color, every breeze that flows through. I can see her standing in that incredible wedding gown, watching and waiting for the day of rejoining her family for the eternities.
I now understand her days on earth being long, refers to her influence which is ever reaching and will not be forgotten.
I only worry a little that Mary won't be able to tell the difference between Heaven and Fallbrook.
Funeral is spelled with the word fun and rhymes with eternal.